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This physical collapse triggered a radical, unflinching honesty. Christina realized that the very strength she had developed to survive her traumatic youth—the ability to compartmentalize and “push through”—was now an obstacle to her healing. She could no longer outrun her history because her legs would no longer carry her at that pace. The illness forced her into a state of stillness that she had spent her entire life avoiding. In that stillness, she was forced to look at the unvarnished reality of her life: the success, the fame, the trauma, and the profound, isolating pain that had accompanied all of it.
