🚨Breaking News‼️ The most dangerous criminals have been captured… See more

THE NEWS WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR WITH OUR HEARTS ON THROTTLE! THAT DAMN “SEE MORE” THAT FROZEN YOUR BLOOD ON YOUR PHONE FINALLY REVEALS ITS SECRET: THE TIME’S UP FOR THE COUNTRY’S MOST WANTED MONSTERS!

What’s up, my dear people! My crew from Mexico City, the north, the Bajío, and every corner of our Mexico, so battered but always standing tall!

It probably happened to you just a few minutes ago too. You were there, at work slacking off, on public transport watching your wallet, or grabbing a taco from a street vendor, when your cell phone vibrated with that intensity that only announces two things: either Coppel is looking for you, or all hell has broken loose.

And there it was. That notification on the lock screen that stopped all our hearts. A blurry image of patrol cars with their sirens blaring, a red “BREAKING NEWS” banner, and those white letters that seemed to scream desperately, cut off by the treacherous algorithm: “Breaking News: The apologists have been captured… See more . “

Oh my! Admit it, pal! You felt a chill run down your spine. Your blood pressure dropped, and your throat tightened. That incomplete “ase…” was the gateway to the hell of uncertainty. We all knew what it meant. They weren’t “insurers,” they weren’t “advisors.” They were MURDERERS !

And the question that drilled into our brains in that eternal second before pressing the button with a trembling finger was: Which ones? Which of the many sons of bitches who are running loose?